When we were praying for our housing need, three years ago, it felt insane to even pray for a house - how on earth could we ever be given a house? We didn't have the faith for that, and honestly, we didn't feel like we were those kind of missionaries (you know, those super holy missionaries that experience miracles all the time). Sure, we serve the LORD full-time, but we don't think of ourselves as special, especially not on the same level as the missionary heroes we look up to and read about from past generations.
As Rebecca and I were struggling in our hearts about whether we should even pray for a house, God sent a young woman from our church to visit us in our living room. We had been spending a lot of time ministering her to her as of late, and this wasn’t her first visit, but this time God sent her to speak to us, and more precisely, to call us back to reality;
"It's not about who you guys think you are, or even about you at all, but it's about who God says He is! God wants to do things because He loves us, and we all need to trust Him!"
This interaction; one part rebuke, another part encouragement; was really an invitation to dive deeper into who God is. Our whole interaction has become emblematic of our journey with God in this house project. It keeps repeating itself in my head.
Months afterward, we received our first miracle--financing to start looking for a house. We started looking to buy a house, but soon pivoted to building a house, and now, two years later, we have our property, our plans, and as of a few days ago, our fully approved government permits.
Now we need another miracle. Last week we got our first bids back for the house build, and the project will cost us $65,000 more than we currently have. This number also feels impossible. Trusting God for our finances has always been a struggle for me, but God is calling us to grow and stretch our faith; but just like before, I am struggling in my head and in my heart to really believe.
So what will we do? Well, we will move forward, despite the feelings that tell us to quit while we are ahead, and we will push ourselves to walk in faith. Starting in July we will start building our house. At the moment we have enough to get the walls and roof up - and we will trust the LORD for the remaining $65,000 we will need to finish things.
July is also the month that our baby Joy is coming. We have yet to raise the money for her birth (our insurance won’t cover the $2,500-$6,000 out of pocket), but we are trusting God for that too. We also need to get a bigger car ($12,000-$15,000) to fit the baby in. The truth is that the convergence of all of these financial needs feels a bit overwhelming, But the bottom line is that we trust the LORD to provide (well, at least we are trying to trust Him).
God is inviting all of us to take our faith to the next level, but that also means that part of ourselves must die to Him. For me, I know God is call me to lay down my pride of feeling like I control and manage my finances and provide for my family, and the pridefull fear of not being seen as a fool for starting to build a house that we can't finish without God’s help. Both of these pridefuly areas in my heart fail to recognize that God is ultimately our provider and care-taker. Only when we awknoledge our struggles, can God come in a fix them.
Thankfully, we are not alone in these challenges, rather, God has provided us with a Spiritual Family that love and support us in this journey, and we are so thankful for every one of you (and those in the church we serve here in El Salvador) for willingly walking this path of faith with us!
What areas of life are you struggling and stretching in? What is God asking you to let go of? What prides and falsehoods does He want to strike down? We pray that He would give you the resolve to let things go, and step out in faith - and that He would get all the glory in the end!
May God bless you richly from the abundance of His love, mercy, and grace!
In Him,
Theo + Rebecca,
Sarah, Daniela, Jan, Ben, and Baby Joy